How to Get Rid of Your Pastor in 10 Easy Steps…Guaranteed

  1. Never honor your Pastor in any way.
    1. Income – low pay helps keep him humble
    2. Time – If he is really dedicated, he will not need to take time off.
      1. Why does he need a vacation?
      2. How can he afford a vacation anyway?
  2. Criticize him frequently and forcefully.
    1. Point out everything negative you see and hear.
    2. Keep in mind that for every negative comment received by a Pastor it usually take ten positive comments to begin healing.
    3. Criticize him in the presence of others.
    4. Criticize him to his face. After all, “constructive criticism” never hurt anyone.
    5. Initiate an anonymous letter writing campaign and leave town.
    6. Suggestions to criticize:
      1. His wife and children
      2. His personality
      3. His preaching content and style
  3. Never encourage your Pastor in any way.
    1. His encouragement should come from God, not people.
    2. If he is right with God, he won’t need man’s encouragement.
    3. Remind him often of the job he is “paid to do.”
  4. Never do anything kind or unexpected.
    1. Never write a kind or encouraging note.
    2. Don’t look for ways to be helpful.
  5. Question every decision and his motives.
    1. Accuse him of being in ministry only for financial gain.
    2. He always demands to have his own way.
  6. Never serve in the church; ignore Ephesians 4:14.
    1. Don’t be concerned with knowing or using your spiritual giftedness.
    2. Stop giving of your time, money and resources
    3. Put what you would give regularly into a savings account so it can build interest and you can give when the time is right.
  7. Encourage people to take sides.
    1. Never ask, “What does God want?”
    2. Never seek to even answer that question.
  8. Begin a Bible study where the main topic is the Pastor – “How can we pray for him?”
  9. Be as demanding as possible.
    1. Don’t look to the Word to solve your own problems.
    2. Expect your Pastor to have all the right answers.
    3. Discourage hobbies and any interest outside the church.
  10. Never pray for your Pastor, unless it’s for his removal. Remember, the removal you ask for may be your own.